There has been a lot going inside her mind lately. Life had taken unexpected twists that the confident faith on infidelity of people has never been so apparent before. Janny was in her car heading to Nowhere, while it was in the memory lane she travelled. It’s raining outside...it’s been pouring on her inside too. It was getting dark, the whole night lay ahead of her. She was lost in thoughts committed to her memory, her eyes stared at the road snaking down infront of her. She could see pale, ghost-like illuminated figures, and couldn’t make out what it was. Headlights of other vehicles grinned back at her when she dipped lights. She took her phone once again as she did every other 5 minutes and glanced at the chat window. She sighed, something deeper stirred inside her... The car hurried through the village side, round the zig-zag bends and there were a few pedestrians to be found as it was getting darker. She had to get somewhere before it got too dark and re-dialled a number from the call list. The man on the other end re-confirmed the room at the cottage by the water. His voices trailed feeble, as Janny fell back into the chasm of thoughts and continued her journey through the complex emotional landscapes.
The vehicle took a hasty turn into an unkerbed street and halted at a drive way which looked like of a resort’s. The caretaker walked up to her, opened the car’s door, extending their hospitality and welcoming her to their place. His words went undecipherable, dissolving into thin air without making any meaning of it. She seemed unaffected by the warmth, totally self-absorbed. She wondered whether her hands trembled when she handed the car keys over to the concierge; and followed the boy as if in a trance. The walkway was wet, the wind still blowing strong, leaves rustling. Everything that is in the dark. The chill outside couldn’t be more arresting than the coldness that she felt in her soul. Her eyes lay still at the lantern that hung at the end of the walkway – The night was dreadfully still, but she could hear voices that spoke with furious voracity. It yelled at her with extreme hatred and unfathomable revenge. She could see figures, small and big – there were five of them. She saw an amorphous dark figure, against the backdrop of those angry jumbled voices – it looked like her Life! Yes, It was her Life! It was like never-ending – the treachery and infidelity. Will it ever stop? She could remember, the same voices had once made her feel her existence in this fanatical world. ‘Yes, I have heard these voices before’, it’s the same betraying voices that have been haunting her for years now. It’s been long she had felt “real”. Sinking into the chair, Janny tried to gain consciousness to reality, to the space around her, to reminisce the past and the current.
Janny, as she realized in due course, was just another vulnerable creation, who was only allowed to maintain the natural wholeness of the Process. The mercy and compassion she had dutifully bestowed on the fellow beings around had been ruthlessly damaged by the manipulating rulers of the vanity world. She had taken her guards off lately, which made her more susceptible and weak to the surroundings, and that helped the Figure to shatter her down to emptiness. She could only helplessly stare at the disjunctive fragments that have piled up from different fearful episodes of life. We are all ephemerons of this universe. Whatever we struggle cannot make a dent in the system of creation and its process. New transgressors and victims are born when the old one dies away; and Life goes on.
The amorphous dark figure – she saw, it was frantically pacing all over the room, breaking whatever that came in its path, Seems like it is trying to save itself. Janny felt enormous distance between her and the figure – announcing an obvious glimpse of estrangement between them - paradoxically her eyes reflected disappointment. It stood behind her now, its tentacles growing large around her neck, choking her, suffocating her, she wriggled in excruciating pain. Slowly she realized the futility of struggling against the force..... and gave away. It all reeled infront of her eyes once again. Janny pulled her hands and touched those tentacles, her eyes emanated tranquil unconditional love. Then, it was peace. She smiled.... and closed her eyes.
